As the year begins, I’d like to share the most important thing I learned about leadership in 2024, from an unassuming but sassy horse named Willow: the elements of cultivating “presence.” Ride (read) with me, to find out more:
WHAT IS PRESENCE?
Presence is choosing your emotional state. How do you show up in the pasture or in the meeting room? When you’re in an unhelpful emotional state, can you intentionally choose a more harmonious state of being? For instance, in my learning journey with Willow, I’ve learned to drop the tension from work before I exit my car at the stable; otherwise I can expect this sensitive creature to be on the defensive.
Presence is your ability to focus, now. At any given moment, horses are keenly aware of the sights, sounds, and smells in their environment. A refined sensitivity to the team environment is helpful to leaders, too. Do you register the subtle changes of body language in your team throughout a discussion? Do you listen closely to another person’s dialogue, catching both words and subtext? When you stay in the moment, you notice the details that help you choose your most effective words or actions.
Presence is clear intent. If you watch a group of horses, you’ll observe the most subtle communications, such as an ear flick to say “let’s go over there” or a 2-inch shift of the rear-end to indicate “watch yourself.” In horsemanship classes with Willow, I sometimes try too hard. The result? An unhappy horse, confused by signals given too fast, too strong, or just muddled. However, if I pause to clarify my intent (where are we going next?), then the signals become clear and Willow responds swiftly to the lightest touch. As a leader, what are your best ways to communicate your intent?
Presence is letting go of the issue. Horses seek peace in the herd because they might need energy for fleeing a predator. So, while you might see horses squabbling over hay, you’ll also see the issue settled quickly. People are often less forgiving, holding onto grudges for another’s minor offenses for days, weeks, or months. Presence is being able to settle an issue in the moment, without hanging on to ill feelings about the other person. State your point of view, then let the issue go. When you lead this way, conflicts stay manageable because they’re visible and short-lived.
Presence is being you, as you are. And finally, a person whose presence is noticed, is a person who is true to themselves. They speak their views; they stand for their values. They care about others, and they have access to their inner strengths. Horses are naturally themselves, but as humans operating in complex social settings, we sometimes let others’ expectations lead us astray. While this aspect of presence is last in the list, it is fundamental to fulfilling the other aspects of presence. As a leader, in what ways do you show up authentically? What are your strengths?
OVER TO YOU: CULTIVATING PRESENCE IN YOUR LIFE
Presence is cultivated and grown, just like a garden or a relationship. Everyone can do it.
Whether you lead by job title or by your role in family, among friends, or in community: How would you rate yourself in the five categories of presence, above? In which aspect of presence could you make a small improvement and gain a LOT in your leadership effectiveness?
- Who do you know, who has strong qualities of “presence” in the ways described above? Which of those qualities might you like to emulate?
- In your leadership roles, how could you strengthen the clarity of your intent to improve outcomes and build team trust?
- If you have a favorite pet or animal, what have you learned from them about being a better human and leader
If you’re looking for support in growing your leadership skills, I can help, through executive coaching and various soft skills trainings with you and your team. Feel free to contact me for a short chat about your needs and what I can offer.
